The final part of the summer holidays can bring a mixture of emotions for both children and parents. While some children are excited to see friends and return to routine, others may feel nervous, unsettled or overwhelmed by the thought of going back to school after the summer holidays. 

As a parent, it can be difficult to know how to help, especially when you are also juggling work, routines and the emotional shift that September often brings. In this guide, we will explore practical ways to support your child during the return to school, while also helping the whole family feel calmer and more prepared. 

Even children who generally enjoy school can struggle with the transition back after six weeks away from structure and routine. Summer holidays might bring later bedtimes, relaxed schedules, family holidays, and more downtime. Therefore, returning to early mornings, expectations and pressures can feel like a shock to the system. 

Children and young people may worry about their friendships, a new teacher or classroom, academic pressures or spending time away from family. All these concerns are normal; in fact, many adults experience similar concerns when returning to work after some time off. 

Children may not always be able to identify and name their emotions; instead, anxiety might show up in their behaviour, emotional experience, or physical symptoms. You might notice in your children that:  

• bedtimes become more challenging and they have trouble sleeping; 

• they are more irritable than usual; 

• their physical health deteriorates and they complain of headaches or tummy aches; 

• they want to be with and around you more than usual; 

• their appetite changes; or 

• they don’t want to think or talk about the return to school.  

Although this might feel frustrating when you are trying to prepare your family for the transition back, these are signs that some understanding, validation and emotional support might be needed. 

1. Start talking about school positively

Children take emotional cues from the adults around them. Therefore, calm and positive conversations about school can help reduce uncertainty. You do not need to be excited or overly positive about the return to school, but you might like to focus on approaching the return to school with curiosity. You could ask what your child is most looking forward to, what subjects they are excited to learn again, or who they have missed and want to see.  

It can be helpful to generally talk about school during the summer holidays so that it remains a constant in the child’s life.  For example, you may be watching a programme or doing an activity which is easily linked to something your child(ren) have done at school.  Keeping school as a familiar topic can help normalise and prevent the lead up to school being a big thing.  

2. Gradually reintroduce routines

The week before school starts is the ideal time to gently reset routines. Simple tools for preparation are: 

• Moving bedtime slightly earlier each night; 

• Returning to more regular mealtimes; 

• Limiting screens before bed;  

• Practising morning routines; 

• Walking the route to school and back; and 

• Trying on school uniform 

Routines create predictability and this can support children in feeling safe. 

3. Validate feelings 

When children feel anxious, parents may feel moved to offer reassurance. However, phrases like “don’t worry” or “you will be fine” don’t validate their feelings. Instead, you might try “a lot of children feel this way before school starts” or “new beginnings can feel exciting and scary at the same time.” This may also be a good time to be curious about what may be making your child feel anxious. Sometimes we can assume that feeling anxious is just about returning to school when there may be other reasons for your child’s feelings and behaviour. Perhaps they are fearful of being bullied, concerned about a new teacher or even worrying about something not directly related to school.  Validating the emotion and being curious can help children feel safe and understood which can reduce anxiety more effectively than reassurance. 

4. Focus on calmness

Parents might feel pressure to have everything organised perfectly before the new term begins. However, children do not need perfection: they need connection, calmness, and consistency. You might like to create some space in the days leading up to the school return to have a quiet cuddle, chat or time reading or listening to calming music. 

5. Help children feel more in control

Anxiety may increase when children feel they do not have control. Therefore, offering small choices can help them regain a sense of control. 

For example, you might: 

• Let them choose their lunchbox or stationery; 

• Involve them in packing their school bag; and 

• Allow them to pick their school shoes. 

 These small decisions can help children feel more confident and capable. 

6. Keep goodbyes calm and predictable

For younger children especially, school drop-offs after the summer holidays can feel emotionally overwhelming. Although it can be tempting to prolong the goodbye, calm and confident goodbyes are usually most helpful, as is staying calm if they are upset. Let then know you will be thinking about them during the day and will be back to pick them up when the school day ends.   

7. Remember that some adjustment time is normal

Whilst children often settle much faster at drop-off after the first day back, not every child will bounce back immediately after the summer holidays. Some may need a few days or even a few weeks to fully adjust. However, if anxiety begins affecting sleep, eating, attendance, or daily functioning over a longer period, additional support may be helpful.

Parents often carry the emotional weight of the entire household during back-to-school transitions. As a result, it is easy to focus on everyone else to the exclusion of your own wellbeing. Try to remember that you don’t need to get everything right and looking after yourself helps support your child. Even taking ten minutes to pause, breathe, or reset can help regulate emotions at home. 

Returning to school after the summer holidays is a big transition, and it is completely normal for emotions to run high. However, with validation of feelings, gentle structure, and emotional support, most children will gradually settle back into routine. 

If your child’s distress feels persistent, intense or overwhelming, professional support can help children and parents feel more equipped.