In today’s classrooms, academic success is no longer the only measure of a child’s development. Schools, parents, and other professionals increasingly recognise that how children manage emotions, relationships, and challenges is just as important as what they learn academically. 

This is where social and emotional learning comes in. But what exactly is social and emotional learning? And why are so many schools across the UK integrating it into their wellbeing and education strategies? 

In this guide, we will explain what social and emotional learning is, why it matters, and how it supports children’s wellbeing and long-term success. 

Social and emotional learning refers to the process through which children and young people develop the skills to: 

• Understand and manage their emotions 

• Build positive relationships 

• Show empathy towards others 

• Make responsible decisions 

• Handle challenges and setbacks 

In simple terms, social and emotional learning teaches the life skills that help children navigate the world around them. 

Rather than focusing only on academic subjects like maths or English, social and emotional learning supports children in learning how to manage feelings, communicate effectively, and build healthy relationships. These are essential skills that influence not only classroom behaviour but also mental health, confidence, and long-term wellbeing. 

Children today face a wide range of pressures from academic expectations to social challenges and the growing influence of digital technologies. As a result, many educators and wellbeing professionals are recognising that emotional skills must be taught intentionally, just like reading or writing. 

Social and emotional learning helps children: 

• Develop self-confidence 

• Improve emotional regulation 

• Build positive friendships 

• Resolve conflicts more effectively 

• Reduce anxiety and behavioural difficulties 

• Improve focus and engagement in school 

When children feel emotionally safe and supported, they are more able to learn and thrive. Research consistently shows that schools implementing social and emotional learning programmes often see improvements in academic outcomes, behaviour, and overall wellbeing. 

Most social and emotional learning frameworks focus on five core competencies that children develop over time. 

1. Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand one’s own emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. 

For example, a child with strong self-awareness might be able to say: 

“I feel frustrated because my homework is difficult.” 

This skill helps children understand what they are feeling and why they feel that way, which is the first step towards managing those emotions. 

2. Self-management

Self-management refers to the ability to regulate emotions, control impulses, and cope with challenges. 

Children learn strategies such as: 

• Calming techniques 

• Problem-solving 

• Perseverance 

• Goal setting 

As a result, they become better equipped to manage stress and handle difficult situations. 

3. Social awareness

Social awareness involves understanding the emotions, perspectives, and experiences of others. 

This skill helps children develop empathy and compassion, allowing them to appreciate that people may feel or think differently from them. 

4. Relationship skills

Relationship skills focus on communication, cooperation, and conflict resolution. 

Through social and emotional learning, children learn how to: 

• Listen actively 

• Express themselves respectfully 

• Work collaboratively 

• Resolve disagreements calmly 

These abilities help children build healthy friendships and positive connections with other children and adults. 

5. Responsible decision-making

Responsible decision-making helps children evaluate situations and make thoughtful choices. 

Instead of reacting impulsively, they learn to consider: 

• The consequences of their actions 

• The impact of their actions on others 

• Ethical and safety considerations 

Over time, this skill supports children in becoming independent, thoughtful and decisive.

One of the most powerful aspects of social and emotional learning is its impact on children’s mental health and emotional resilience. 

When children are taught how to identify and express emotions, they are less likely to feel overwhelmed or isolated by their feelings. Instead, they gain tools to: 

• Communicate when something feels difficult 

• Ask for help when they need support 

• Regulate strong emotions 

• Develop healthy coping strategies 

From a wellbeing perspective, these skills are fundamental in preventing small emotional challenges from becoming bigger mental health difficulties. 

Social and emotional learning does not always require a formal lesson or a structured programme. In fact, many of the most powerful opportunities for developing social and emotional skills happen in everyday interactions and routines. 

Whether at home, in school, or within community settings, adults can help children build these skills through small, consistent experiences. 

Some simple ways to support social and emotional learning include: 

Encouraging children to name and describe their feelings either verbally or creatively, drawing how it feels for example, helps them develop emotional awareness. When children can recognise what they are feeling, they are more able to manage those emotions and communicate their needs. 

One helpful tool is emotion picture cards. These cards show different facial expressions or situations linked to feelings such as happiness, frustration, excitement, worry, or disappointment. By looking at the images, children often find it easier to identify and talk about emotions. 

Adults can use emotion cards in simple ways, such as: 

• Asking a child to choose a card that shows how they are feeling today 

• Talking about what might make someone feel the emotion shown on the card 

• Discussing what could help someone if they felt that way 

• Using the cards as part of a daily check-in or reflection activity 

For example, you might ask questions such as: 

• “Which card shows how you felt during that activity?” 

• “What do you think might have happened to make this person feel worried?” 

• “What could help someone feel better in this situation?” 

Visual tools like emotion cards can make emotional conversations less intimidating and more engaging for children, helping them gradually build the language and confidence to express their feelings. 

Empathy is the ability to understand and recognise how others might be feeling. Children do not automatically develop this skill; instead, it grows through conversation, modelling, and reflection. 

One simple way to encourage empathy is to talk about everyday situations and ask children to consider another person’s perspective. For example, if a disagreement occurs, adults can guide children by asking questions such as: 

• “How do you think the other person might be feeling?” 

• “What might help them feel better?” 

• “What could we do differently next time?” 

Stories and books can also be a powerful tool for building empathy. When reading together, pausing to discuss how different characters might feel or why they acted in a certain way helps children develop perspective-taking skills. 

There are also useful empathy and feelings games available that encourage children to think about emotions and social situations. These may include discussion cards, storytelling prompts, or board games designed to explore feelings and social interactions. 

These activities help children gradually understand that their actions affect others, which is an important part of building positive relationships. 

Children often experience strong emotions but may not yet have the strategies to manage them. Creating small opportunities for calm and reflection can help children develop emotional regulation. 

Simple practices can include: 

• Taking a few slow, deep breaths together 

• Pausing for a short quiet moment after a busy activity 

• Reflecting on the day and talking about what went well 

• Practising short mindfulness or grounding exercises 

Some adults find visual tools helpful, such as breathing cards, calming jars, or short guided mindfulness recordings designed for children. 

There are also a number of child-friendly mindfulness apps and online resources that offer short exercises designed to help children relax and focus. These can be particularly helpful during transitions, after busy activities, or when a child feels overwhelmed. 

Over time, these small moments help children learn that they can pause, calm themselves, and respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. 

Working together with others is an important life skill. Cooperation helps children develop communication, patience, and problem-solving abilities. 

This can be encouraged through simple shared activities such as: 

• Collaborative games 

• Group challenges or puzzles 

• Building or creative tasks completed together 

• Cooking or preparing something as a team 

The key focus is not always the outcome of the task but how children work together during the process. Adults can support this by highlighting positive behaviours such as listening, sharing ideas, or helping others. 

Some educators and families also use games, which are designed so that players work towards a shared goal rather than competing against one another. These types of activities can be particularly helpful for younger children who are still developing social confidence. 

Through repeated experiences of working together, children begin to understand how collaboration can make tasks easier and more enjoyable. 

Disagreements are a normal part of growing up. Rather than trying to prevent all conflicts, it can be more helpful to support children in learning how to resolve them constructively. 

When a disagreement occurs, adults can guide children through simple steps such as: 

1. Firstly, allowing time for the calming of emotions of those involved, so their thinking brains can switch on and be ready to process what has happened.  Then: 

1. Listening to each person’s perspective 

1. Helping them name the feelings involved 

1. Thinking about possible solutions together 

1. Agreeing on a way to move forward 

Visual aids such as problem-solving cards or simple conflict resolution charts can help children understand these steps more clearly. 

Some schools and families also introduce simple frameworks such as: 

• “Stop, think, talk, solve” 

• “I feel… when… because…” statements 

These tools help children communicate their feelings without blaming others, which supports healthier conversations. 

Over time, children learn that conflicts can be solved through communication, understanding, and compromise.

Children benefit greatly when their efforts and positive behaviours are recognised. This helps build confidence and reinforces the behaviours that support emotional development. 

Rather than focusing only on achievements, it can be helpful to acknowledge qualities such as: 

• Perseverance 

• Kindness 

• Teamwork 

• Problem-solving 

• Emotional awareness 

For example, comments such as: 

• “I noticed how patient you were when playing with your younger brother.” 

• “You kept trying even when that was difficult.” 

• “That was very thoughtful of you.” 

These types of responses help children understand that their actions and choices matter. 

Some environments also use visual encouragement tools, such as kindness charts, reflection journals, or gratitude boards, where children can recognise positive moments or acts of kindness. 

Over time, celebrating effort helps children develop a stronger sense of self-belief and motivation, which supports both emotional wellbeing and learning.

Social and emotional learning is a vital approach that supports children in developing the emotional intelligence and life skills they need for the future. Helping children understand themselves and others may be one of the most important lessons we can teach. 

If you are a parent or family who would benefit from therapeutic support, or a teacher who wants to learn more about these strategies, please contact us.